


a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

by lawlietsspoon



Series: fics that have me feeling weird [2]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drabble, F/F, Oneshot, is rem a major character? i hope so, misa is "girl", rem is sad, rem needs her emotions in check, she's bad at feelings okay?, thats it, thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29601219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawlietsspoon/pseuds/lawlietsspoon
Summary: rem's dying thoughts.
Relationships: Amane Misa & Rem, Amane Misa/Rem, Amane Misa/Yagami Light
Series: fics that have me feeling weird [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2174655
Kudos: 9





	a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

**Author's Note:**

> big sad for rem. the title is from "a soulmate who wasn't meant to be" by jess/jessica benko

Rem watched as the man, Watari, she was never good with names, struggles to stand up and push the red square button. once he hits it a satisfied grunt escapes his lips before his eyes glaze over and he collapses atop the keys.

she looks down when a thud sounds around the room. it was the death note.

glancing at her fingers she suppresses a wince as her white skin turns to dust, starting to clump at her feet. she thinks of the past year.

watching Gelus turn to nothing after he saved a girl, a girl she would do the same for in the future.

she gave said girl his book, hoping she would ignore it or use it for good, maybe stop Kira after all. Rem didn't like Kira, he was throwing up death rates and stealing from shinigami.

Rem didn't appreciate her race possibly going extinct due to a rogue human-shinigami pair.

but this girl likes Kira. Kira saved her in her opinion. it's not like the girl would care what Rem would say about that and nor could Rem do anything till the girl gave up the book.

what would happen if she did? would Rem go back to the shinigami realm?

the girl traded her life-span for Rem's eyes. Rem wasn't particularly worried but the itch in the back of her head protested.

why should she care for this girl? she was a mortal and a fool in love with some make-believe god. Rem was a real god. Maybe this girl should like her, no?

the tingling feeling crept up her arms and her head hung low. Rem stood behind this girl as she searched for Kira, framed her friends for Kira. she was devoted to Kira.

Rem disliked that. why? she didn't understand her own emotions.

Rem watched her play dress up as these people with cameras took pictures and videos of her. had she act for these things called movies?

Rem hadn't known them before the girl insisted they had a Disney movie marathon.

the shinigami still didn't understand why there was a 'villain' and 'hero' each side is just misunderstood in Rem's opinion. Nobody knew what the 'villain' went through or what the 'hero' actually thought of their world if he liked being the savior.

the tingling continued in her shoulders. the girl would call it pins and needles.

Rem had watched the girl go to Kira or his civilian persona, Light Yagami. She knew another shinigami was standing (flying?) upon earth but she didn't expect it to be _him_. 

she glared at Ryuk, the shinigami who had been known to _always_ be bored, always meddling with things he shouldn't.

she watched Yagami kiss the girl.

Rem didn't understand why she wanted to stop them. the girl was happy though. Gelus would like that right? 

~~sometimes Rem thought she was making the girl happy for her own pleasure.~~

She watched the girl go with him to his school and get surrounded by crowds of fangirls and boys who thought she was attractive. 

she watched a man nonetheless steal her phone. she looked at his name. 

'L LAWLIET'

she wouldn't intervene. that would get her killed and she would end up like Gelus. but she didn't love this girl. at least that's what she thought. 

she watched this man take the girl.

the girl didn't struggle. did she expect it?

she watched the girl cry out to be let go that she had nothing to do with Kira as she was strapped up in a straight jacket. 

she was trapped.

Rem's feelings were mixed. should she be like Ryuk and laugh and the irony or should she help? would the girl want help?

a couple of days later she hears the girl beg for her to kill her. end her life. 

Rem didn't want to do that so she proposed something else that ended up hurting her more than she would like to admit.

to forfeit the death note. 

she played with a strand of the girl's hair, turning it up and around her finger before she heard the words.

"get rid of it."

Rem sighed and did so, watching the girl lean forward as she passed out before slowly phasing through the wall and going on a quest to follow Yagami's plan.

to find a substitute, Kira. 

her time with Higuchi made her want to throw up food she hadn't eaten.

he was a vile man, he did things for himself.

he was selfish and disgusting. 

she wanted to kill him. end her own misery for once.

he talked about doing things to improve his company. 

L would so obviously find out he was Kira and all Rem could hope was that Yagami would regain his memories already.

she met up with Ryuk time-to-time but he was no help. useless in a different view.

Rem's light clothing fabric started to dissolve as her body slumped forward. 

she still viewed over the girl and viewed as she hung out with the police officers. again she wasn't good with names.

one day Rem had enough. she wished to talk with the girl. longed to hear her voice directed at her. 

when Rem touched the paper of her book to her palm the girl looked up a shriek escaping her lips as she whirled around to face Rem

so close. she was so close. the girl had never gotten this close before excluding the one time she had hugged Rem.

she questioned Rem and Rem answered truthfully.

"So your like...a guardian angel?"

Rem thought being an angel for the girl wouldn't be so bad.

Rem sat in Higuchi's car, watching the interactions between the girl and the horrid man.

she killed when instructed.

Rem had done what Yagami asked to keep the girl safe.

what were these feelings? Rem didn't know, maybe she never would.

Rem watched silently as Higuchi was caught. watched as he died with hidden glee. she didn't like men like him. 

she let the police officers see her. she stayed with them for a few days, she let Yagami boss her around.

She decided she didn't like men who acted like Yagami either.

"you are to kill Watari and then L if you wish for her to live." 

the flashing red light's irritated Rem's head as she sunk to the ground.

she wanted _her._

she wanted _her_ human.

she wanted _her_ little blonde.

she wanted _her_ to live.

Rem barely could understand what was happening with the shouts coming from downstairs. 

L had finally died. the girl was safe.

_Misa was going to be okay for a bit._


End file.
